The invention of ordinary everyday things

A little update.

2009-08-19T02:20:16Z

I live in Madison, Wisconsin now. It's a good place for me. Big enough for lots to happen, small enough for me to make something happen within it.
I'm considering opening up a bakery as my long-term goal.
I have a kitten named Willamena, or Willi for short. She's trouble, and my constant companion.
My boyfriend, Jason, loves me more than I can really describe. I've never felt that before.

I still long for the mountains.

Rural Pennsylvania & Theft vs. Starving Children.

2009-03-25T19:34:07Z

I go to school in a very rural area of Pennsylvania, which is extremely impoverished. It's not rare for me to see children in shoes that are falling apart with dirty faces and hair that looks like it hasn't been washed in a week or maybe longer.
It breaks my heart.
I often find myself wanting to get down on one knee and do the lick the thumb mom thing to clean the dirt smudges from the cheeks and foreheads.

Yesterday I was in the supermarket and as I was waiting in line there was a couple with three small children under the age of four. The family had huge boxes of soda under their cart, and paid for their frozen pizza and boxed macaroni and cheese and rushed away without paying for the soda. I watched as they walked away, and looked at the cashier to see if he had noticed. He didn't.

My heart went out to these children. I wanted to hug them, take them home, give them baths, and feed them a warm meal to nourish their bodies instead of the soda and frozen pizza they were going to be given.

I watched these people steal and I didn't say anything.

I'm the kind of person who will confront someone when they are doing something wrong if it is hurtful, harmful, or offensive in any way, but I didn't say a thing about this.

Was it wrong?
I saw them as clearly being victims of their situation.
Was it wrong of me not to have said anything?
I think I would have felt worse if I had said anything.

When is the earliest time a person can be a foster parent?

morningcame @ 2009-03-10T22:47:00

2009-03-11T02:54:21Z

New Demo
"We Rise from Sleep Simultaneously"

We rise from sleep
Simultaneously.
But Brush our teeth
Quiet and separately.

Your bones in rivers deep
Sopping wet socks and hems of jeans
Couch forts and parking lots
Wet grass and shopping carts

Our dogs in the lawn
Run past our bay window and down towards the barns.
I pin a new broach
In the shade of my collarbone.

Your bones in rivers deep
Sopping wet socks and hems of jeans
Couch forts and parking lots
Wet grass and shopping carts

morningcame @ 2008-09-07T18:51:00

2008-09-07T22:54:09Z

The End.

morningcame @ 2008-09-02T15:19:00

2008-09-02T19:27:07Z

So, lately I've been thinking a lot about my future and what I might like to do when I'm done with school.
I definitely want something that will be flexible for when I have a family in the future.

Owning a business, of course.
There are lots of private schools that I could teach at without an education degree.
I'm thinking of applying to various Teaching Fellows around the US (you teach at their schools while they put your through graduate school) Places that have them
- Denver
- Saint Paul
- NYC
- Philadelphia
- DC
- Indianapolis
- Oakland
- Chicago, etc..
I'm also thinking of maybe getting a masters in library studies, to be a children's librarian.

Happy Birthday, Michelle my belle!

morningcame @ 2008-08-29T17:17:00

2008-08-29T21:18:11Z

Happy Birthday, Anthony Paul Zotynia.

I'm busy, but happy.

Find your own pose!

The Graham Nash to my Joni Mitchell

2008-08-27T05:24:03Z

I am so at peace and content with where my life is heading.
Nothing has ever made so much sense to me before.

morningcame @ 2008-08-23T21:50:00

2008-08-24T01:51:03Z

August 2008 has been one of the best months of my life.

morningcame @ 2008-08-04T14:12:00

2008-08-04T18:12:36Z

And so the Vagene Ragime tour begins!

one! two! three! WEE!

2008-07-29T02:30:46Z

My favorite thing to do with both Zachary and Sadie is feed them, mostly because I can give them the same amount of attention at the same time and they're both happy.
I will cut up grapes, berries and cheese for Sadie at the table and give her little bits at a time until she signs "more" or "eat" to me, which is pretty interesting to see how teaching her those signs have really helped her to communicate..being 1 1/2 can be so tough. So I'll get to make silly noises back and forth with Sadie and hold Zachary and give him a bottle while he falls asleep in breast milk bliss.

So, I wrote my first song on the autoharp today in between writing my paper and sitting on babies.
I was in a hurry when I saved the song originally, so I didn't realize that I forgot to delete a track that I had muted, so I apologize to anyone who received a big ol' mess originally when I was running out the door.

Here's the real demo that you can listen to if you choose:
Cuddlebug

morningcame @ 2008-07-27T00:19:00

2008-07-27T04:31:46Z

Please join me in welcoming the newest addition to the Jordan clan..
Louise, Maggie Mae, and now...

Junebug

My favorite thing about her is her heart.

Tonight I was just with Zachary all night, and it's only been a week and a half and he looks so much bigger already.
I love how he smells like warm milk and oatmeal and love.
And how I can write my paper and he doesn't mind the pen in my right hand, as long as i have him in my left arm.
What a sweet little babe.

morningcame @ 2008-07-25T12:17:00

2008-07-25T17:03:23Z

Kate and I drove to Michelle's and played a show in Pittsburgh with three fabulous bands, had a picnic, baked together, and just talked and talked and talked.

Lessons:

Don't go over two months without being near the ones you love most.
Joanna Newsom sounds best while driving through tunnels that go under mountains at dawn when everything around you is blue.

News:

Austin is coming to visit on August 12th.
I'm halfway through my paper.

1. What are your reasons for having an LJ?
I like writing about my day and then going back to past entries from the same day through the years to see what I was doing, and how far I've come.

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Talk on the phone, read.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
If/When I get married I would just want something extremely simple and outdoors. A real celebration of love, not a celebration of consumerism.

4. What is the city of your dreams and why?
I love love loved Seattle. Milwaukee was very progressive, so I also enjoyed it thoroughly.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
A mixture of both, lately.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
When loving someone meets being loved by someone.

7. Do you trust easily?
I always try to see the best in people, and that's lead me into many bad situations.
I suppose that means yes? I would just like to believe that people are genuinely good and kind.

8. What is your favorite time of day, and why?
The golden hour.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
I have been so so so happy lately.

10. What is your best quality?
optimism.

11. Is being tagged fun?
like the game of tag? Never for a kid with asthma.

12. How do you see yourself?
Spiritual, bold, independent, brave, loving, accepting, silly -- extremely silly.
Ever-growing.

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
My family and friends, of course!

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
intelligent, creative, shy -- but not timid

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
I would rather have a companion and be poor. Maybe not necessarily married or with a lover, but I would never want to live my entire life without someone to share it with.

16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
As many as I can afford to support.
Biological or not, I want lots of children in my home, and for my home to be a safe-haven for whoever needs one.

17. What's better, to give or to receive?
to give and receive.

18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
The one I have a greater connection with I suppose?

19. What would you do if you (or your girlfriend) became pregnant unexpectedly?
I'm not sure. You can never even remotely know what you would do in that sort of siuation until you're really in it.

20. What is your biggest fear?
Well, snakes always. Mostly recently: rabid opossums in the dark.
Everything else is out of my control, yeah?

21. If you were a song, or a piece of music, or if you could be any musical artist or any kind of music in the world, what or who would you be? And imagine we’ve never heard you before and tell us what you sound like.
This is so so difficult.
It would probably be an all girl soft acoustic twee sound with a doowop, 60's girl group feel with orchestral accents braided within it. It would also have to be recorded in phil spector's wall of sound.

Tagging:
Kate
Michelle
Roxy
Sarah
Kaela

morningcame @ 2008-07-22T00:32:00

2008-07-22T05:19:14Z

The past few days have been uneventful in the way that I have not left the house, but eventful in the way that I've been exploring my surroundings with new eyes again and sewing and drawing and writing and writing and writing.

Yesterday I was pulling clothes in from the line when all of a sudden the wind starts blowing wildly and there were booms of thunder out of no where. It was during the golden hour of the day, so everything was yellow against the green of the leaves and ferns outside my house at first, and then everything just turned blue. It was the strangest, most exciting thing I've experienced in a very long time.

My mom's vegetable garden

I've also been light hunting.

The ceiling in my living room.

Pennsylvania's beautiful pines.

Hedgerow.

andddddd

My father in the late 60's/early 70's.

Baby girls.

morningcame @ 2008-07-20T00:35:00

2008-07-20T05:07:10Z

Kate and I went to visit our friend Maria in New Jersey on Thursday, and it was so silly and well needed.

Yesterday I wrote two more songs, and then I wrote an additional two today.
I am so happy that my writer's block has finally chipped away after months and months of feeling like I was writing mediocre garbage.
Here's little babe that I just recorded tonight so I wouldn't forget it. It's nowhere close to being done.
(It's a wav file, sorry, I'm on my sister's computer and she doesn't have a wav to mp3 converter. I hope you can still hear it if you choose to.)

I'm wrapping up the planning for The Bossettes vagene regime tour for the first week in August. Yes please.
And then Austin might be coming from Seattle to visit. Yet another yes please to that.

This next week is going to be so so so busy, but so so fun!
I can't wait to knit and bake with Michelle and Kate.

morningcame @ 2008-07-19T14:46:00

2008-07-19T18:57:52Z

A;) Is it better to ride your bike to Walmart
or
B:) Drive your car 15 minutes to a grocery store that is not owned by a major corporation

This question has been plaguing me for the past week and a half.
Mansfield is so small and lovely in so many ways, yet it is really so stained by the corruption of chain corporations.
So the real question is:

Do I want to be a slave to Walmart or do I want to be a slave to gas companies?
Both are really just so evil, and I feel so torn.
I just want to do what's best.

being as productive

2008-07-16T20:35:39Z

Today:

I wrote two songs.
worked on my paper

I'm about to:

meet my mother for dinner

attempt sewing buttonholes for the first time.

morningcame @ 2008-07-16T00:00:00

2008-07-16T04:04:30Z

Makes me feel nostalgic.

SKIPYOU backtome: im so glad ur feeling better
SKIPYOU backtome: im real proud of u cona
SKIPYOU backtome: :)
merely the moon: thanks skiplicious:-)
merely the moon: i wouldn't have been able to do it without good friends like you
SKIPYOU backtome: i think tour was ur best therapy
SKIPYOU backtome: i can see a real difference in u
SKIPYOU backtome: and i love it
merely the moon: i think so too
merely the moon: that's the main reason i went, you know?
merely the moon: to just find myself again
merely the moon: because i knew i was still kind of lost
SKIPYOU backtome: yea im glad you did it

they are three together

2008-07-13T14:34:37Z

I'm expecting. (+ boyfriend of the week)

2008-07-13T00:31:06Z

It looks like Louise and Maggie May are going to have a new sister, seeing as
my Uncle Paul just ordered my autoharp today. 21 chord and everything! The whole shebang!
Just like this one:

I'm so excited to get my sweet little hands on it and start plucking and pounding away.

Boyfriend of the week:
Chesney Henry "Chet" Baker Jr.
Melt your heart 1950's jazz vocalist and trumpeter.

Oh Chet, let's get lost!

Look how long I've come.

2008-07-12T04:50:05Z

Wednesday:
Kate and I went thrifting and bought some t-shirts, half off. Yes please!
We silk-screened some shrits and also some patches into the wee hours of the morning.

Thursday:
We baked cookies at my neighbors house while we were house sitting, so we could bring something delicious to the show we were heading to later on in the night.
The backyard show in Connecticut was really fun and much closer than I was expecting it to be (only 2 hours).
We played in the dark, with a little light from candle lanterns and much help from fireflies.
On our way home we saw a porcupine and a baby fox. Yes please.
(The night before Kate and I were playing guitar on this tiny bridge that goes over a creek, and it began to rain so we got our things together and started heading back to my house, when we saw this deer which was only about five feet away from us. It was so beautiful.)

Today:
Jen reshaped my hair early on in the morning, which will probably be the last time my hair is touched by scissors with the exceptions of trims until Anthony returns home from Iraq for good in March. It's amazing to see how long it's grown since Thanksgiving when he left, and how much longer I have to go until he comes home.
Dr. Sornberger said once in Poetry of the Sacred that it's common for women who were raped to cut their hair while they're grieving, and I think it really makes sense as to why someone would. I mostly felt like getting rid of all of my hair was going to be a new beginning for me, to cut off my past, and to remind me to concentrate on my future. With every month, my hair is growing, and my strength is too. It's something to be proud of, I think, that I'm still alive and smiling.
I'm using Anthony's homecoming as a goal, as well as a symbol that I'm not alone. He's in a real life war zone, where as I'm trying to make my memories a peaceful place, rather than a war zone as well.
I hope that when he comes home, that by that point in time we'll both be okay.

Later on Kate and I called Michelle and discussed our many new show dates that we have been offered within the past four days.

July 19 -- Philly, PA

Aug 4 -- Fredrick, MD
Aug 9 -- Evansville, IN
Aug 15 -- Tannersville, PA
Aug 20 -- Mansfield, OH
Aug 30 -- Somersville, Mass.

After that, Kate left to work and now I'm enjoying a quiet evening at home.

Kate and I are watching Little Women together on YouTube.

I think it's so sweet how John Brooks keeps Meg March's white glove in his pocket in secret.
And how Fredrick kisses Jo, backstage in the opera.
However, the best part is when Fredrick comes to Orchard House from New York at the end, and he tells Jo that his hands are empty, and she puts her hands in his and says "not empty now".

morningcame @ 2008-07-07T22:15:00

2008-07-08T04:59:23Z

So, I went to the salvation army today, and let's just say I made out like a bandit!
I found all of these fabulous vintage sewing patterns for .69 each, and I also bought two outstanding table cloths to make into some skirts or bags. Yes please.

I also bought all of this fabric (including some beautiful satin, on the far right) and a whooole lot of thread for under $12.
That is what I like to call a steal of a deal.

Also, I made these mittens for my dad for his birthday
out of 100% wool yarn that I purchased in a huge yarn store in Portland, OR.
(I ended up spending more money there in one day than I allowed myself to spend weekly while on tour, if that gives you an idea of how much I spent in that shop. Yikes!)
My own pattern too!

Thanks to my sister, Jen, for modeling these mits with her huge hands.
Holler!

Also, I'm starting to plan the welcome back show for the station!
The date is going to be Thursday, September 4th. I'm planning on having it outside at South Hall Mall, starting around 4.
Acoustic bands first, then rocking the heck out at night! Yes please!

Here are some bands who are local/somewhat local who I'm considering:
Rob, Lately
Billy Mack Collector
The Bossettes (duh, we'll be there)
Thom McCarthey
A Dawn Becoming
Pullsh
Nick Dailey
Sharks! With Knives!!!
Maria Rose
Northern Spy
Dream of Fire
Christopher Bell
Endless Mike and the beagel club
Here Come The Comets!

If you would like to see any other bands up on this list, please do not hesitate to talk to me about them!

Also, I'm sure there are going to be times when the shows aren't going to be held at Night and Day Cafe, and on campus instead, so I'm thinking of giving the whole project a solid, constant name.
eitherrrrr
The Tulips or The Two Lips (as in word of mouth)
orrr
The Moon (because it's my baby, and, well, it sounds like a place I would want to play at if I was trying to book some shows for my band.)

I'm also planning on starting a Food Not Bombs on the same night, at the same place where the shows are being held to help the community and to maybe draw in some people while we're at it! It would be a really great thing to have happening in Tioga County to help out some really impoverished families that might need a free meal.

So Thursday nights at Mansfield for this coming year, you can expect:

Live Music backed by WNTE biweekly, if not more
Food Not Bombs
Stitch 'n' Bitch

yes please.

I'm a tumbleweed.

2008-07-07T18:14:44Z

So, I've been looking for that ever since Sarah died, and thanks to Liss, I finally have it. I don't even really know why I still wanted to see it. I guess it's just a little something that represents that maybe she still cared about our friendship, also. I'd like to think that she did and that she missed me too. We should have talked more.
I really hate myself for not putting my neck out more.

By the way,
Listen to "Tumbleweed" and/or "Vegan Song" by Mal Blum, in honor of the day of her birth and well, just to listen to her fun, silly, and strong music because it will certainly make your day a better one.

I could never love a man, because I could never hurt a man.

2008-07-07T01:39:47Z

Sometimes I say things that people want to hear because I know it will make them happy, even though I don't mean them completely.
Everyone does this, it's called being human.
Regardless, I am a babbling brook.

Dear Lloyd Dobbler,
Why don't you really exist? Honestly.
I know you're basically the dreamiest dream man out there, (which you of course do not know because you're a dream man and in an ideal world, amazing people do not know how amazing they are) and no one can compare but in all actuality -- Why do I keep expecting every boy I'm ever interested in to be as sweet and perfect as you?
Please tell Cameron Crowe to jump in a lake for creating you and ruining the way I expect men to be.
Love,
Connie

I bruise like a cherry.

morningcame @ 2008-07-06T15:06:00

2008-07-06T19:13:57Z

If anyone has old sheets, pillowcases, or clothing of any kind that they're trying to get rid of, please get in contact with me.

And so today marks the start of my summer of sewing, stitching, and silk-screening.

morningcame @ 2008-07-04T23:01:00

2008-07-05T04:17:18Z

My parents both agree that I should go visit with Sarah's mother now that I'm home. I just don't know if I can do it.
I wouldn't know what to say, and mostly I just don't want to bring up the topic to her. I'm sure she thinks of Sarah all the time, everyday, and I wouldn't want to tare a wound that's still so fresh and open.
Is that cowardly of me?
Would it be wrong to send a letter, some cookies, and the things that I've collected for her?
In all actuality, I know that both options wouldn't be the right thing for me to do. I'm stuck.

I've been thinking about maybe meeting with Mark for some coffee or something to see how he's doing, and even getting back in contact with Carolina.
She's reached out to me many times since our friendship crumbled, and the last time being January of 2007. I was still angry and hurt, but mostly dealing with everything that had happened to me during late August of that year. I was not emotionally stable enough to rekindle anything, and now I just feel like maybe it's time to let the sand settle, and finally swallow my pride and forgive.
Life is much too short to be angry.

When I was waitressing last summer, sometimes Mark and Sarah would come in with their new friends and I would have to wait on them. I was always so upset and hurt that I had to wait on someone that I had been waiting on for three years. Now when I look back at it, I shouldn't have been waiting at all.
I should have just told her about how much I missed her and how I still wanted to buy new shoes together for school in the autumn, slip down her driveway while holding onto each other for balance in the winter, make Mothers Day gifts together in spring, and dye her hair on my porch in summer.

I read Stalking the Wild Asparagus today.
(One of many of my mother's ultra hippie books.)
Once upon a time Kate and I played a show in Rhode Island and we stayed at our friend Simon's farmhouse that his parents built themselves, and I spotted it on the book shelf, and nearly had a heart-attack.

I was so shocked to find that there was another copy in existence.
I was relieved to have found another person with a parent who would want to stalk a feral vegetable in their backyard.

Anyway.
Now I find myself wanting to make violet jam.